Indya's Page

Hello you!

I wanted to write you, especially since I know the last few years have not been easy. Five years ago, you gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. The birth went just fine but the first two weeks did not. Doctor visits didn't help and two weeks later your son ended up having surgery for Pyloric Stenosis. It was several months before he could hold down a decent amount of food and liquid.

He was never much of a sleeper but everything else seemed okay, for awhile. Between two and three years of age, you noticed behaviors that seemed out of the norm: obsessing on certain things, strong separation anxiety, and perseveration. Finally, at four plus years of age, you received a diagnosis. Asperger's Syndrome, a high-functioning form of Autism.

Now what? He's a social guy, very smart and highly imaginative, so you enrolled him in preschool and it turned out just fine. Now, he's started first grade and has been assigned a paraprofessional to help out when needed.

I know it hasn't been easy for you. Juggling a stressful job, a special needs child, finding appropriate care for your child and the mountain medical and everyday bills is certainly overwhelming. However, I have faith that you can handle it. It’s okay to lean on those around you. Your parents have been extremely helpful in watching your son when needed, bringing him to doctors visits on occasion. Don’t feel guilty for asking this of them. You try not to abuse their generosity and only ask when necessary.

When you received your son’s diagnosis, it was a mixed blessing. On one hand, it’s a relief to have a name for the difficulties he’s been experiencing, on the other, you experience loss and wonder if any of your dreams for his future, the dreams all parents have for their children, will every come true. Will he be able to hold a job or drive a car? Will he ever be able to live on his own or get married? What about the more immediate concerns, like interacting appropriately with other children? Will he be teased? Will his behaviors change and can you help him become all that he can be?

You’re a strong woman, Pamela. Your son’s father is still in his life but on a limited basis. It’s not easy to be both parents 95% of the time, let alone be both parents to a child with special needs. You can do it though. I know you can. You’ve got an amazing son who is such a blessing. When you’re pushed to the limit, remember that he was sent to you for a reason. His humor and imagination, his incredible love for you and the way he makes others feel are some of the gifts he was meant share. Sometimes, he’ll say just the right thing to bring clarity to a situation, and remind you of what is truly important.

God bless you both and remember that He never gives us more than we can handle (even though it might not seem like it at the time!).

Take care.

Me

As much as I'd like to try this month's NaBloPoMo theme, it's highly unlikely that I'll be able to post here every day of the next few weeks.  I've got a million and one things to do along with getting my group blog off the ground so I think I'll have to pass.  I still plan on posting here as often as possible.  Maybe by June, the group blog will be running smoothly, and the rest of my life will be in better order.  

We need to look for a different SUV and we must refinance next month.  Along with that, I've got to figure out what my son will be doing this summer.  I can't believe the school year is almost over!  Sigh...  I've also got to figure out what plants to purchase for the yard.  We've got a pretty big yard and it's in dire need of help.  Okay, it's not that bad but there is work to be done.  Transplanting hostas, adding new perennials, fixing the fence and painting it, replacing a few bricks in the patio...the list goes on.  

Now, it's time to pay bills.  I know, you're jealous, right?

Take care.

Hello, hello!!  

I just wanted to let you know that my group blog, Texty Ladies, with Jane E. Jones and Kayko May has gone live as of Monday, April 26th!  I'm so excited about it.  We have so much planned that it's crazy!  We have a different theme for each day of the week.  Yesterday was the Monday Mix where Kayko May blogged about music.  Today, Jane E. Jones interviewed author Antonia Pierce.  Tomorrow is Wacky Wednesday and my weekly column will start on Thursday.  You'll just have to visit the site to find out what we've planned for the rest of the week!  

In an earlier post here, I said I would continue with my "Letters About Me" for the April "Letters" theme for NaBloPoMo.  Well, I still plan to finish those up but they might run into next month.  I'll be picking up the "Voices" theme in May but will post additional entries to finish up the letter theme.  I just have to know how I turned out!  :)  

I hope you'll take a gander at the Texty Ladies blog and let me know what you think.  Please feel free to comment on the posts or contact us through the Contact page.  

Take care!

Congratulations!  Wow, what exciting news!  How fitting that you confirmed on Mother’s Day morning that you’re going to be a mother.  How are you feeling about this?  Yes, you’re single but you know it can be done.  It’s not the situation you were hoping for but you’re strong and I know you don’t want to make the same decision you did at 20.  That was too painful and you’re in a much better financial situation now, you’ve grown and you know that you can do this.  Your parents have offered their support.  It might not have been the ideal situation they’d have you in but they know you can do this, too. 

So much has happened in the last few years.  You’ve had your time with models and rockstars.  Now, you’re weary of that whole scene.  Having a child doesn’t mean the fun is over; it’s just a different kind of fun, right? 

Honey, I know you’ve been searching.  You’ve even turned your prayer around from, “God, please send someone to love me,” to “God, please send me someone to love.”  I believe He heard your prayer.  J 

It is a wise decision to examine the pattern you repeat in choosing the wrong men.  You need to find out why you choose men who are incapable of loving you.  You deserve someone who will nourish and support you; someone who will love you for who you are so you won’t keep trying to be someone else. 

I know you have mixed feelings about the baby’s father.  It might have hurt a little that he didn’t want to stand by you, but he didn’t say he wouldn’t stand by his child.  Have hope.  You can now feel the relief from constantly worrying about who he’s with.  It’s not right to stereotype all musicians, but let’s face it; the opportunity and temptation are always there for them.  Ease your mind, forget all that, and focus on being whole again and bringing new life into this world! 

I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to go on and on or sound like I’m preaching but a good heart-to-heart with yourself is sometimes needed!  J  I’ll get back in touch with you in the coming months.  Be strong!!

Love,

Me