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Bill Gathen's Page
Profile Information
- Name or Pseudonym:
- Make it a Double
- About Me:
- I am the father of two boys, one who refuses to sleep and one who refuses to eat, and the husband of one woman who for some reason has permanently attached herself to me "like the thing from Alien" as she puts it. We share our house in upstate New York with an 11 year old, bowlegged, overweight, chain smoking, narcoleptic housecat and an imaginary leprechaun named King Brian.
Our oldest son, Jack, is only 5 years old but is already finger-painting at a 10th grade level. I am also terrified to pick up my one year old son Adam because he treats neck skin like a Taffy Pull and kneads upper lips like pizza dough.
I write about all this and more at my blog Make it a Double (http://bgathen.wordpress.com). I've got a heavy pour and you can't beat the prices.
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Contrary to everything I have learned about horizon lines, vanishing points and perspective I would have sworn that the further away he got, the bigger he appeared.
Bill Gathen's Photos
Bill Gathen's Blog
My Anaconda Don't Want None And Neither Do I
Posted on January 4, 2008 at 9:12pm —
Blame Jimmy Carter If Your Child Is Allergic To Peanuts
What ever happened to the days when kids weren't allergic to anything? It wasn't that long ago, was it? The only memory of allergies I have growing up as the undisputed undefeated fastest kid in Saddlewood Elementary School not to mention habitual first or second teammate picked on dodge ball days in gym class and, most impor…
ContinuePosted on December 31, 2007 at 8:19am —
My Favorite Ben10 Alien Is Named Codpiece
There's an old expression that I may have just made up that suggests when going to the ballet one should not sit too close to the stage as it will flaw the delicate illusion. For proof of this axiom's validity one need look no further than my front row seat to a 2006 performance of Swan Lake by the Mariinsky Ballet Company; a seat in which I was clos…
ContinuePosted on December 28, 2007 at 9:06pm —
More Trash Than You Can Shove Into George Bush's Cowboy Hat
Well another Christmas has come and gone here at the Gathen residence and yet again my theory that those who celebrate Hanukkah (I believe it is those of the Jewish faith) have got the right idea. Now, admittedly my working knowledge of Judaism comes from Adam Sandler songs, a viewing of Fiddler on the Roof in 11th grade and getting to chapter 14 in Chaim Potok's The Chosen, but let me just… Continue
Posted on December 28, 2007 at 9:05pm —
Madam I'm Adam: 8 Questions with a Toddler
A clichéd bell rings as I step out of the cold and into the apple pie and Monte Cristo warmth of the near empty diner. The resonating starkness of the bell against the otherwise stillness of the dimly lit room is reminiscent of the last seconds of the Sopranos finale and I wouldn't have been surprised if it was James Gandolfini in the corne…
ContinuePosted on December 28, 2007 at 9:00pm —
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We have about 3 inches so far. I laugh when I think what 3 inches would do to DC?! hahahahaha
Apply sarcasm always, to everything.
Heavily.
Watch the fallout.
LAUGH.
I'm heading to the store to pick up several lbs of beans, some cabbage, a pint of buttermilk, and some jalapenos.
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