Suzanne's Page

3-24-08

• On the way to Germany.
  
• At this point in my life and travels, I am damn near unflappable; and I consider that a good thing. A very good thing, even.
  
• I called Aliyah earlier to report on the weather conditions in Malmö: snowing like crazy.
  
• This trip did not start well. I woke up this morning, decided I'd rather go back to sleep, and missed my bus. So I did the next best thing the second time I woke up: decided to stay in Stockholm for the week and just not use the internet. Yep. (My sleep-addled brain produces some whoppers, let me tell you.) I booked a flight from Bromma to Malmö on Malmö Aviation, got a taxi to the Bromma Airport (flygplatz?), and hopped down to Malmö. That little mistake set me back $183. Ouch. But instead of canceling the whole week (which would have been cheaper), I am on my way to Germany.
  
• Lately, I have been rather indiscriminate with my money. I should probably rectify that, because I want to actually life my list month and a half in Sweden rather than scrimping.
  
• I am worried about my own mental state this trip. I'm going to Berlin--a place not known for its bright, sunny disposition--while reading two dystopian novels (Brave New World and Kallocain) and Kant. ...
  
• Again, Im confronted with the question of what is the ideal soundtrack for a jaunt like this. (Tiny Dancer by Elton John just came up on my iPod, and I am again baffled by the juxtaposition of the music--sunny, dusty LA--and the reality--dark, snowy Sweden.)
  
• There are four other people in my compartment: a Swedish party-boy and a father with his two (annoying) teenage daughters. The guy just wants to sleep, while the teens are finding every little thing to be exciting. They are running and bouncing and giggling and just being teenage girls. But it's 10p, and we have a 6a wake-up call. I would love for them to chill a bit.
  
• I am surprisingly tired. This does not make sense, but I'll run with it because I would enjoy having a regular sleep schedule again.
  
• I miss Ninja.
  
  3-26-08
  
• Slept through all my prime writing time yesterday. Spent the day on a bike. Lovely, all around.
  
• I should be used to museum lockers here in bizarre-Europe-land, but I am not. I am also not used to being in yet another country with such a huge national ego. I suspect Saudi Arabia has similar issues, and Iraq will be in this boat in 20 years. Lovely.
  
• I like the pace and tone of Germany better than Spain, but the weather is dismal. Yesterday, it rained then snowed then climbed up to the 50˚s then did it all again. While I was on a bike.
  
• Meta: while I love the way it feels to fill a page, I do not relish the size of this journal. Note to self: large and slim > small and stout. Just because it fits in that particular pocket on the front of my purse doesn't mean I have to buy it.
  
• Thinking of buying things, I bought a really adorable pair of Birkenstocks today! They are sort of clogs with Mary-Jane straps. Called Dorian. They are, without a doubt, completely adorable.
  
• Also thinking of purchasing things, I paid to get into this museum. I should consider viewing at least 8 paintings to make my 4€ [~$6.25 USD] worthwhile.
  
• Adolph Menzel had a great sense of humor in naming his paintings. Or perhaps he was just pompous.
  
• Sometimes, smashingly good ideas come tumbling through my head; but I am often too tired to write them down.
  
• So far this break, I have read Kallocain and half of Brave New World. This does not bode well for my mental state for good reasons. Being in Germany--a twice failed dystopian state itself--and reading that shit? Oy. Not the best of my ideas. As if to compensate, the sun has been out most of today. Perhaps I'll finish BNW today and take the edge off a little with some Kant. I do have 8 hours of bus ride tomorrow to look forward to. (I also have postcards to send and letters to finish.)
  
• The sheer number of packages I have waiting in Sweden is killing me. I left 3 Swap-Bot packages and two letters unsent. Plus, I have another crop of swaps coming due. And coorinating my address is a nightmare, because I move on the 13th of May so I need to change my address on the 1st of May. But I have swaps being sent around then...and...just..ack! ...
  
  3-27-08
  
• The child on this bus must be Muslim, because ze keeps screaming, "allllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! aaaaaaalllllllllllaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!" over and over again while running up and down the aisle. Or perhaps I hate children.
  
• I must confess that dating a woman makes the question of children so much easier because it is so suddenly "unnatural" so no one expects it. This thills me. Aliyah would be a pleasant mother, but I would be both grumpy parent and unfit gene donor so the question is settled.
  ...
  
• I don't actually know where Hof, Germany is; but I do know that the fields around it are still covered in snow. [Ed. note: Hof is in east central Germany, very close to the Czech border.] This is ridiculous! Germany has shittier weather than Sweden. And it's further south! What the crap?! (My hope is that Hof is rather east of Berlin instead of due south. That would explain the 8->9 hour ride instead of a 5 hour deal.)
  
• I finished my book this morning, and all my other reading material is checked under the bus. (And by "reading material" I mean "Kant.") Now that I've knocked off two dystopian novels in short succession, I am 100% sure that I want to take a dystopian lit class. I'll talk to Dr. C about the chances of that happening before I graduate. Perhaps a guided study will be in order.
  
  3-28-08
  
• So, yet another day of fucked up plans and expense. This time, to the tune of 42€ [~$65.65 USD]. Ouch! I chose to sleep instead of catch the train so now I'm on a 10.51a train that will spit me out at the castle around 13.00. I did not realize the train to King Ludwig's castle would take two hours! Good thing I ate breakfast first. [Ed. note: This is the train route I took.]
  
• When I tell people I'm from Sweden (Schweden), they are really, really nice to me. In fact, they often ask me question in pigeon Swedish or make silly little statements. And yay! I know enough Swedish to get their questions and give answers. The main reason I can pull that little act off is because the Germans know that the Swedes all speak English, and a young Swede who can afford to travel in Europe is a decently-educated Swede. This is, of course, to my ultimate advantage because the Germans are polite to Americans, but they are downright jolly to Swedes.
  
• I have been writing less, at least on this trip. In part because I am not having a major crisis of the faith or some sort of moral falling apart. Instead, I am just going through the motions of this trip to go through the motions. "Oh, I booked to go to Germany. I suppose I should go. Ho hum." Perhaps the travel malaise is because Sweden is looking up so I don't feel the need to escape and sunbathe.
  
• I have just realized that I am probably deathly pate. Living in my coat, in Sweden, is not ideal for maintaining anything close to a rosy glow.
  
• Note to self: when Aliyah gets depressed, drag her to a tanning bed. 10 minutes is enough to restore her to good humor, I'm sure.
  
• Another possible reason I'm writing less is that I'm drinking more beer and less tea. Last trip, I pretty much lived on tea. This time, not so much. It helps that I'm staying in hotels without guest kitchens this trip. Oh, right, and I had a double-strong cup of tea this morning. (I fixed my cup--tea, sugar, spoon--then grabbed a carafe labeled "te" and started pouring. At that point, I looked up to answer a question. When I looked down again, my cup was full of tea steeping tea. It was good. Strong, but good.)
  
• I really dislike music leakers. And my train car has two of them, leaking vastly different kinds of music. Pain in the butt!
  
• The roofs are covered in solar panels here. I get the impression that Germany is well on its way to leading the world in alternative energy sources. Then again, I cam reminded of that scene yesterday, with the wind turbines next to the nuclear reactors. Irony at its finest. And to think that I used to believe so strongly in nuclear power!
  
• I have a sneaking suspicion that I have somehow fucked this trip up and overshot on the DB. That would blow because I am already late, and I paid too much for this stupid ticket.
  
• Southern Germany is like a fairy tale. There's just no other way to explain the land- and skyscape. Plus, the little houses and...and...and!
  
• Never have a I fallen in love with a city the way I fell for Malmö. It was seriously love at first sight. Every little thing about it was charming. I cannot get Malmö out of my mind. I must live there somehow. Perhaps university...?
  
• If I hear one more group of young Americans (be they from the US or Canada) discuss "the big questions" because they are looking for the "obvious" or "necessary" moral revelation "while in Europe" because "that's what people do", I will SCREAM. If you aren't having a moral, mental, religious, or existential crisis, then don't go looking for one, you doof. Just because other people have come to Europe and had such a moment does not mean you should, to. It does not make it in any way mandatory, and rather clearly shows that you are a by-product of a self-indulgent and petty generation rather than the great philosopher you fancy yourself to be.
  
• I feel miserable today. So much salty food, not enough water, and the mere existence of alcohol at all. Yuck all around.
  ...
  
• My father had an intense aversion to many things, including tourist traps and spending money. We often spent vacation either in Pensacola or in some State Park somewhere. He really liked State and National Parks, for whatever reason so I've been to pretty much every State Park in Mississippi and a good selection of them in Alabama and Georgia, too. Part of this early indoctrination to stepping off the beaten path in travel has turned me off to the notion of "tourist attractions." I really hate them and would rather spend my time lost in a strange city than going up the Sears Tower or something. To that end, today just exhausted me and left a bad taste in my mouth. (I think it was the cost, not the food.) I spent:

42,80€ [~$66.90 USD] (DB München <--> Füssen)
3,40€ [~$5.32 USD] (bus Füssen <--> Neuschwanstein)
9,80€ [~$15.32 USD] (entrance)
5,50€ [~$8.60 USD] (food)
0,30€ [~$0.47 USD] (postcard)
61,80€ [~$96.61 USD] !!!!!

Most of that went on my credit card, too. Plus, I am pretty much out of cash. I have 4€ [~$6.25 USD] and some change left, and I need 1€ [~$1.56 USD] to get on the bus. Tonight is grocery store dinner because I need to buy bus food and train food for tomorrow and the next day. Thank god I'm going home soon!

• It feels like I have been away from school for an eternity (9 days) and Sweden for half of that (only 4 days). I'll be glad to return to that familiar soil, catch up on work, and breathe free.
  
• This summer, when I'm at Iona and out of touch, I'll be thrilled. The pressure of both contact and future will be taken away from me and none too soon.
  
• I want to be back in München, back at my hostel, with a full Nalgene. The lack of water is killing me.
  
• Earlier today, a memory cropped up. A really random memory, that I can't fully place. I suppose it came from thinking that Neuschwanstein would be like Hearst Castle (not to be missed!) which took me back to that stupid California trip¹ (that I both loved and hated--and still love and hate) which took me back to the very first night in Huntington Beach, CA, where the family went to a burger joint; and I ate Subway in the RV. That particular incident can easily be explained (burger joint, vegetarian kid, dislikes soy burgers, sick of fries), but it touched off a larger memory that I can't place: The Year of Subway. I don't remember particulars, but I remember some general bits...like it was around 10th grade because I link Subway memories to forensics. I remember getting a lot of free sandwiches. I remember my order: wheat bread (or parmesan oregano, if they had it), cheese (back when Subway only had one kind of cheese), lettuce, tomato, pickles, olives, onions, mustard, pepper, parmesan, oregano. It was easy enough for my mom to remember (wheat, cheese, no mayo, all the veggies except peppers), and it was always the same. Always. I can't quite explain why my food choices didn't change much in those days, but I was always eating the same things. I am not a picky eater; but my body seems to crave the same things time after time. No, I cannot explain it.
  
• Possible swap: I Wish I Was There! PC swap. User buy/make/alter a postcard to show somewhere they'd like to be, then tell their partner why they'd like to be there. Can be real (France) or imaginary (Narnia), can be possible (Hawaii) or nearly impossible (the moon). 1 partner, late April send.
  
• Is the Wilsonverse so isolated, so crushing that I don't exist there anymore? It seems like my theories about our pines and maples² hold true.
  
• A thought...a very nasty thought, indeed...struck me earlier, while I was watching the movie about King Ludwig II. It's a minor meld with an earlier This American Life (#352 maybe?). Do we only journal in the hopes of becoming famous, thus making our journals relevant? I suspect that we do, although the chances of [fame] happening are so small. Part of me keeps journals for that reason, but the other part continues to write because ze wants to remember. I can go read journal netries from 10 years ago and be reminded of memories that have slipped. (For example, I would probably understand the sandwich situation more if I got the journal from that time period. Which, incidentally, was a normal sized notebook--hint, hint, self--covered in various magazine clippings to the point of not making sense with a newspaper clipping about JesusVeg.com on the back.)
  
• My headphones bit the dust two days ago.
  
  3-29-08
  
• My hands are nearly paralyzed because I knit a size 1 US (2.25 mm) sock in 3 days. I only did it because I felt like I should accomplish something this week besides finish a couple books, go country-hopping, and practice German 24/7. I hate vacation.
  
• Did I mention I ran out of money? Yep. I have enough left to use the restroom a couple times³ and perhaps get to the Swebus station.
  
• Note to self: back-to-back day-long bus rides blow. Please consider avoiding these in future and stick to the train, ffs.
  
• I have both Aliyah's "travel" song (Leaving on a Jetplane) and mine (Oh My God) on my iPod. The difference between the two songs is astounding, and I was struck by it the other day. My song, by the Kaiser Chiefs, is a "selfish" song, about the singer/speaker with lyrics like:

"Oh my god, I can't believe it.
I've never been so far away from home."

The song uses the word "you" once or twice, but it is mostly about the singer/speaker swanning off somewhere. But her song is all about the singer leaving someone. (I'm listening to her song now, to make sure I get the details right.) My travel theory is a lot more about me and swanning off to do something. She doesn't want to be forgotten by the people she's leaving. (I tend to assume the important or worthwhile people won't forget me while I'm gone because I am so fucking bombastic, when the need arises.) I don't have confirmation of this, but I assume Aliyah has Her People--the ones she's taken and knows and loves--that she does not want to be forgotten by. I tend to assume that the world is full of people (although without duplication) so I can always meet new new ones. I also assume that the internet is very big (true) and that I will make it back to x place sooner or later.

• Note to self: write a letter to Bryan Glass. Get address from John.
  
• I am all for the wide-spread use of a universal language, but only if it involves flags and maybe monkeys. (Nautical languages are hardly universal and do not involve monkeys.) I do not wish to eradicate any languages, but merely supplement them with pretty flags and monkeys.
  
• I bought a book. A trashy paperback that will end up costing me $17 (after the exchange rate) even though it's only worth $8. (Mark-up plus exchange rate.) This admission is even more disgusting because it means I was unable to focus on Kant as my primary reading material. That is an admission I am ashamed of. I am a horrible person. (The book I bought was a National Book Award finalist. It's not total shit. Just mostly.)
  
• In order to appreciate Berlin, I think you should experience a more frenetic place (like Madrid) first. Berlin is downright calm in comparison, and Stockholm is silent. Spain put everything in perspective.
  
• I love my Nalgene because I can buy 1L bottles of juice and pour the whole thing into my Nalgene. Lovely way to imbibe things, really. (Today, I enjoyed 1L of pineapple juice. Yum!) Also cheaper because I can duck into a grocery store and buy something intended for home consumption rather than paying convenience store prices.
  ...
  
  ¹ California trip: My father got a bug up sideways when I was 16 and took the whole family to California, Arizona, Utah, and Nevada for between two and three weeks the summer before I went to MSMS. If I was 16, Samuel was 14, Joseph was 12, and William was 9. It was a trip to remember. We flew into LAX, rented an RV, and tooled around. It was very...special. I have an unpleasant memory of Big Sur, for a very stupid reason. Maybe I'll tell that story sometime. It's laughable.
  ² The Pines and Maples Theory: Wilson's alma mater starts "Mid a group of pines and maples...". The campus used to have them all over. And my theory is that they create a little bubble or dome or forcefield over campus, isolating Wilson from the rest of the world and making people forget that anything but Wilson exists. Sad but true.
  ³ Paying for toilets: It's a really common European thing. Most public spaces don't have free WCs, but the WC centers are almost always very very nice; and they are always very clean. Yes, I do often pay 5:- [~$0.84 USD] or even 0,80€ [~$1.25 USD] to use the restroom in the mall, but that's a very worthy price in my mind because I am using a really clean restroom rather than something questionable.
  
  Added: The pictures for Berlin are here, and they are all public with some decent commentary. Most of them were taken during my bike tour, which was worth the money.
  
  When I get the München and Füssen pictures together, I'll add that album to this entry, too. München, Füssen, and a bit in between. Enjoy.