Sanctimony's Page

I have mastery over the laws of physics.

The place where the speedy-quick direct bus I take to work picks up a mile and a half from my apartment. Which is no problem, except that to arrive at this spot I must climb up an unreasonably steep hill from my apartment. This is fine in the evening, as I am able to easily walk or, better yet, ride my bicycle down this lovely hill, arriving home in MINUTES. But in the morning, this generally results in me arriving All Sweaty And Gross. Which is less than awesome when one is expected to be in professional attire all day.

So for the past many months I have been biking to the bus in sweats, and carrying a change of clothes with me, which I don after the bus arrives on campus, giving my sweaty grossness ample time to cool off.

I've been obsessively trying to think up solutions to this problem: perhaps I should just buy a Vespa? But that costs a lot of money. Or maybe I can attach a motor to my bicycle so it goes uphill? But those don't really help you up crazy-hills-of-death. So none of these are particularly viable.

This week I figured out a magic solution to this problem: ride down hill both ways.

You see, there is another bus which picks up downtown, which happens to be an express bus, that gets to campus in about 40 minutes. This is not as awesome as my 30 minute bus, but it's pretty darn good. Particularly because its location is DOWNHILL from my apartment (alright, so technically it's flat, but that's WAY SUPERIOR to up-a-crazy-hill). And by bicycle, it is approximately 13 minutes to the bus stop, which looks something like this:



(I love downtown, and I need to go back with a better camera to take more pictures of those CRAZY LAMPS).

The trip home is on my 30 minute bus, and then it takes about 7 minutes for me to get down the hill-of-death to my apartment.

The only problem with this plan is that it is contingent on bicycle racks being available on both buses, which can sometimes be a problem, due to the fact that EVERYONE is now busing and bicycling around town.

But barring that potential hiccup, I am now able to arrive on campus without having to pack two changes of clothes and 32 oz of water. And I can tell people that I ride my bicycle downhill both ways. Which is pretty awesome.

So I didn't JUST buy the iPhone. I'm changing my whole world and converting to The Way of The Macintosh. Because I've always wanted to switch, and because Windows Vista is a bona-fide nightmare, and because the campus bookstore had the WORLD'S BEST DEAL on the previous-version 24" iMac. Which will cost me $999 instead of $2200. AND I get a free iPod. AND I can sell my 23" television because it is an inch smaller than my new iMac. AND I can sell my laptop. Which means that I'll end up getting a brand new $2200 computer for all of $400, including necessary accessories, like wireless keyboards and AppleCare and such. Which means that MY NEW COMPUTER COST THE SAME AS THE IPHONE. No kidding.

And if that is not a reason to be excited, I don't know WHAT is.

But I'm not just REGULAR excited. I'm SUPER EXTRA excited. And I have PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE of just how SUPER EXTRA excited I am. This weekend, I rearranged the furniture in my apartment to find The Place for my new iMac/media center, and I even taped 3x5 cards to my current TV so that I can see where the bottom of the screen will be, and where the edge of the computer will sit in the shelf. I even made a diagram (inspired by Bossy):



Do you like my Impressive Visualization? Do you see the white squares? Those are the aforementioned 3x5 cards.

And I am not obsessive-compulsive AT ALL.

I think perhaps that the business model on which Steve Jobs bases all Apple decisions comes from Guy Debord's 'Society of the Spectacle.' Yes, he makes quality products, but emphasis is on The Sexy, and on being The First to have The Sexy.

There are ways to reduce eight-hour wait lines. Simple ways, such as those that were employed at most major booksellers for the midnight release of the last Harry Potter book. There are wristband systems, appointments, reservations, pre-ordering and online activation, overnight delivery, and any number of other ways that Apple could have altered the release of the device to shorten those first-day lines. But they didn't, because a huge part of Apple's corporate personality is that it is AWESOME, and it wants ATTENTION. Its alter-ego would be the understated Google, a company equally committed to awesomeness but with absolutely no interest in spectacle. Apples and oranges, I know, to compare a hardware company to a software company, but it's sort of relevant in this case.

I arrived at the Apple store around 4:30pm on Friday afternoon, thinking that lines would have shortened substantially since the morning rush. My dear friend Holly happened to catch me online as I was preparing to leave work to acquire said iPhone, and offered to come hang out with me while I wait, under the same delusion that the lines would be practically nonexistent. And we were dreadfully wrong. But the lines weren't SO VERY long. There were fewer than 200 people in front of me, and with Apple reportedly turning around 50 per hour, I would certainly have my phone in less than four hours. We'd be out of there by 8, and there would be PLENTY of time to go have dinner somewhere after.

Boy, were we wrong.

By 9:00 we were STARVING and about ready to faint from hunger, when Jeremy came to the rescue with Pizza! which we inhaled as though we had never seen a pizza before in our lives. By this time, we had begun to establish close bonds with our fellow queue members, which was nearly broken by our ravenous refusal to share the pizza. But we were VERY HUNGRY. And the pizza was VERY DELICIOUS.

The solidarity of spending seven hours in line with a complete stranger results in a strange kind of bond. We saw 10pm come, and go, and were within sight of the entrance to the Apple store. We were FAMILY. As 11pm approached, we passed the final twist in the queue and were let across to the short line of a dozen or so people who were to be the VERY NEXT GROUP to pass through those glass doors and hold the 3Goodness in our own hands. It was exhilarating. And Holly, who had been waiting in line with me for SEVEN HOURS with no intention of even buying an iPhone, whipped out her camera and took pictures:

Here I am with the security detail, who had been with us through the line all day, making sure no fights broke out, and that everyone knew what they needed to do to get their shiny new toys:


And here we are with our new family, Holly included (taken by the security guy in the white shirt from the previous photo):


Do you see the joy on our faces? The glee in our eyes? SO CLOSE that we could TASTE the plastic-aluminum-silicon flavor in our mouths.

SECONDS after this photo was taken, the store manager came out with another of the periodic announcements she had been making throughout the day. Would the be out of a certain size or color? Or was everything just fine? Are they closing us down at 11 as planned? Or will they keep going until each and every one of us gets the phone we so desired?

"The AT&T servers are down for the night, and we are unable to sell any more phones."

The crowd breaks out in TEARS, and anger is brewing. We are minutes from what will go down in history as the iPhone Riot of '08.

But the manager has a solution.

They have these Magic Passes. Little pieces of paper, with numbers, on which they will mark our names and our place in line and the flavour of iPhone we most desire. And with this Golden Ticket in hand, we can each return the next day to enter the Chocolate Factory without waiting in ANY LINES, and each of us will go home in a glass elevator of our own.



There were fifteen people inside the store who got the first 15 passes. Which means I was only 13 bodies from the door when we were turned away.

So Holly, Jeremy, and I went back to their place to drink bourbon and play Uno until 4 in the morning. And we slept until noon, brunched leisurely, and I took my Golden Ticket to the front of the line, and presented it to retrieve my iPhone.

And, OM3G! It is certainly every bit as awesometastic as I had hoped. But next time, I'll be waiting two or three days to avoid the spectacle.

In anticipation of my acquisition of the 3G iPhone, I decided that I would get myself a shiny new phone number. I live in the 619 area code, but I work in the 858 area code, so it would be logical for me to have either of these two area codes -- but which one??

So I decided to poll my friends to see what they thought my area code should be.

A lot of people said that I should base the decision on the area code from which I receive the greatest number of calls. But that logic fails, since I get roughly equal numbers of calls from San Diego County's three area codes: 619, 858, and 760.

The results of the poll were so funny that I just HAD to share them. People are SURPRISINGLY EMOTIONAL about area codes!


Adam: cool people are 619. 619 is true san diego. 858 is yuppies.

Alex: 858 all the way!

David: 858 so i don't get confused as to what number is the correct one. and why do you need a new number? why don't you use your current number?

Dustin: 619

Ed: 858 For The Win. here's why. 8 - 3 is 5. 5 is 2 and 3. 8+5+8=21 which is 3 with 2 digits. its all about the 23

Erica: I'm biased towards 858... but you live in the 619 area code. 619 has "historic" value since it was the original San Diego prefix... but I much prefer the 858 number combination. And 619 reminds me mostly of east county.... 858 is "richer"

Jeremy: I say go with what feels good.

Kevin: um.. 858. cuz that's my area code. gotta represent, yo. 858 is more specific than 619, too.

Mike: i say 619.....i like it! easy huh? my vote is LAW..... rararararararrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. actually you should get 858....because thats how god would want it...

Sara: 619 is most of san diego, while 858 is a smaller area of northern sandiego. i like the number 619. unless there is emotional attachment to either one.

Sarah: for me no question 619 - i hate 8s. unlike the chinese. 619 has nice symmetry, plus think of the divisibility by 3! its not ACTUALLY divisiblie by 3, but...the components - its more pleasing

Travis: 619. it sounds cooler. 858 is ghetto.

Will: hmmmm. i guess 858 is easier to remember. but 619 is your current one


So, here's the million dollar question, Internets: what do YOU think I should pick?

The other night, my Nigerian neighbor was watching 'The Ten Commandments' -- the Cecil DeMille version starring Charlton Heston. On his awesome new television and sound system, it was truly amazing, and I spent a good while watching from the patio, wondering WHY he, womanizer and party animal that he is, would be watching such a classic film. My conclusion was that he was either surprisingly cultured (moreso than any American boy I've ever met), or he was trying to impress a girl.

Later that evening as he left for the gym, he walked by my open screen and said "Hi, Rebecca!" (which is apparently my name, who knew!), I asked what movie he had been watching (since I'd only caught a few seconds of it, and I'd not been sure which of the many Bible-based movies of that era he had selected).

He replied that it was 'The Ten Commandments,' and asked, "Are you a Christian?" and said something about reminding himself of the power of God, which, at my negative response, he quickly followed up with a remark about testing out his new sound system, and apologizing for the noise.

Interesting, how faith is such a touchy subject that the Power of God is so quickly transformed into the Power of Technology.