FiddleMama's Page

I end the month as I began it- very nearly forgetting to post until the last possible moment. I was just in the kitchen scrubbing a pan and listening to NPR and this fella is talking about the Northwest Passage and global warming and I'm looking around my kitchen and wondering how much impact my little compost pail has on the grand scheme of the environmental crisis in which we find ourselves. The barest beginning of the thought of "I should blog on this" occurs to me and suddenly I realize-

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Today when I woke up, I realized that I didn't have to go anywhere (other than walking the dog) all day long so I changed into fresh, warm jammies and dug in here at home.

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Any morning that begins at 6 am is destined to be a bad morning. The little voice began chirping "Mama? Coming? Dada? Up?" when it was pitch black outside. Since he was too awake to pretend otherwise, I had the brilliant idea of getting him up, fed, bathed, and dressed and then putting him back down to snooze a little longer. It worked! For about twenty minutes. It seems to have served as a power nap of sorts because he was supercharged after that.

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My friend told me that, as this medicine takes effect, I'm likely to have a healing crisis. She was right. It's in full swing. I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin. Emotionally and physically, I am a mess. This has unfortunately coincided with our semi-annual money freak-out where we realize how much we have coming in and how much we have going out and guess what? It's not the same number!

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I need to find a happy path where my locavore desires, my candida restrictions, my decluttering impulses and my delight in small luxuries all meet happily and no longer contradict each other.

I haven't found that path, but I'd sure like to.