So, some things I just don't understand. Life is a funny old thing. Sometimes it feels like the people closest to you are the ones that don't want you to succeed. I don't get it. It seems like your oldest friends or closest family would want to give you wings, but sometimes it feels like they hold your feet instead. Like cement shoes on your feet, drowning you under the water and keeping you from reaching the glorious breath of fresh air that you long to breathe! From soaring into the sun and the luscious blue sky that awaits you.
Is it because they're afraid of change, afraid of you becoming something other than what they've counted on you to always be? The dutiful daughter, the wife, the mother, the close friend, the social director and party planner and host of all parties, the arranger of play dates and lunches and cocktail parties and birthday celebrations, the holiday hostess?
And could they possibly be so short sighted to believe that you've led such a charmed life? To not realize your own struggles, and losses, and grieving? How could they not know that many times you've tried and failed, and sometimes fell face first into the dirt, and stood up, and dusted yourself off, and tried again because that's what you do? Because you see the good in life, and because you know that when you give up your dreams you die.
And when they talk on and on about their latest drama, like they're the only ones who've ever lived through it, and in the dredges of your memory you can recall the time in your own life when you went through it, and none of them were there for you, but still you listen, and offer support, and nod in understanding, when in fact, you truly do understand.
And there would be more that you would share with them, more of the details of your own life, if they could, just for a moment in time, stop talking about themselves.
I do not understand.
But, I choose to look on the bright side, to continually pick myself up, and dust myself off, and to plow forward because that's what I do. I believe there is a brighter tomorrow, that people are basically good, that life, while not always fair, is still worth living to the fullest, that Spring follows Winter, and Summer after that. The flowers are worth smelling, the sun feels good on my face, and my heart is full for my loved ones, and my dog thinks I am the greatest!
I can say that, at this point in my life, I want to surround myself with positive people. I have little room for naysayers, for cement shoes, for cloudy days or negativity. Our lives upon this earth are short, and I choose to live mine to the fullest.
Every Day Above Dirt Is A Good Day! :)
