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That's not the title I would choose for an opening discussion. This isn't exactly the kind of group you want to be "welcomed" to, however, we are here and all are welcome to chat, to moan, to rant, to share a good day, a positive experience, some hope, inspiration and hopefully some humour. Laughter is marvellous medicine.
If I give you a brief background on my experience, you'll know where I'm coming from and then I hope everyone else will just jump in.
I was dx'd in May 2005 with IDC...Stage IIb...1 tumour, 1 node. The tumour was 2 cms., got clean margins. 1 node so I had an axillary dissection after the lumpectomy, all the other nodes taken were clear. I'm er/pr- but I am her2+. The only good thing about that is being able to have had herceptin.
I'm married, have 2 great kids, both boys (one in his first year of University, one about to turn 16). I write, I blog, I read (like a fiend!), a make cards, I do mixed media arts, love to talk, shop, dine out, drink red wine. I like to shop for shoes, purses, accessories...I love to socialize. I love life, and have a much better appreciation for it than I did 2 years ago. So far I am NED, take one day at a time and live each one to the best I possibly can.
Jenna, my best thoughts to your mom. And to the rest of the family. One aspect of breast cancer (any cancer for that matter), is the people who surround and support the breast cancer survivor (I never use the word patient..we are survivors from the moment of diagnosis)...this is a very diffciult role and family, friends, supporters are often overlooked and neglected during this time of crisis in your lives. Remember to take care of one another and yourselves. You need to be good to you as much as you do your mother. The focus becomes the person who is dealing with the cancer but this is really a much larger issue on an emotional and on a physical level for all involved.
I had 27 lymph nodes removed (in total) so know how this surgery feels, what recovery is like. If at any time your mother has concerns or questions, please ask. And remind her..there are no silly or foolish questions with breast cancer..only the ones you don't ask.
The joy of a new life joining your family will be a very positive focus for all of you. The constant reminder that there is still life with breast cancer. That we don't stop living...we learn to live more fully.
I will visit your family blog and keep up with your mother's journey. If I can be any help, if any of us here can offer any help, information or just comfort, please let us know. I also have a breast cancer blog that will link to other sites that may prove helpful.
Jenna, my thoughts are with you and your family. My unsolicited advice is, any emotions are valid. One of the hardest aspects (besides the physical pain and nausea from treatments) when going through treatment for me was, the STUPIDEST things that people said to me. Yes, they don't know what to say, or how to say it, or what to do for me, or how I wanted it done. Well I didn't know either as this is a first time thing for me too. But a little common sense goes a long ways. For example, when I would whine and rant and moan, friends and family actually told me "be positive! all that negative energy isn't helping you heal!" or, "you're always so stressed out, no wonder.." and then they trail off. SIGH. I just wanted to VENT, I think I had a very good reason and a right to do so. A hug, an open ear, a shoulder to cry on, was all that I wanted. Prepared meals, laundry help, house chores help, etc would have been nice too.
Sorry. I made it all about me.
An open communication, and acknowledge openly that all feelings are valid and not personal are all important tools of emotional support.
You touched on a really valid subject with regard to our treatment sweetisu...sometimes we just need to vent. We're frightened, we're walking a dark path that is often dimly lit and we just don't always know what we want...other than to be who we were before. So we need that vent, we need to make it all about us...and sometimes those around us don't get that. They don't understand. I saved a great deal of my venting for those I knew who did get it, or took it into a support group (on line worked better for me than in person though I did both). It's a very difficult place to be.
You said it so well...acknowledge openly that all feelings are valid...amen.
Absolutely sweetisu...cancer and all forms of it affects us in the same way. It may be a different part of the body, it may be a different treatment, but emotionally/spiritually/physically it affects us in the same manner.
My heart goes out to you and your friend...dealing with the disease and treating it is very difficult. To have had a recurrence and to have passed away from complications is devastating.
How are you? How have you been feeling and how long has it been since you were diagnosed?
Hi. My name is Jennic. I go by sweetisu because that's my blog name and "Jennic" was already taken as a username here. I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's when I was a newly wed, 24 yrs old (a month short of 7 yrs ago). I'm now in my 6th YEAR of remission. I had a couple of scares but thankfully no recurrence. We have 2 kids, POST my treatment. They are 2, and 4 yrs old. Life is good. :-)
Although I don't blog often enough, I finished nablopomo last yr. My blog is here: http://www.sweetisu.com
Congratulations to you. NED is wonderful! May your remission continue until your kids have grandkids, and beyond ;)
Jennic, I'm so glad to hear that you are in your 6th year of remission! That is wonderful...and that you have had children post treatment! This is a clear picture of hope, that life goes on. I think we live with that fear of recurrence whenever we go for a check up, follow up, test, etc. though I have heard the fear lessens with each year...still there, just not as much in the forefront.
Thanks for the positive thoughts and may you also dance with NED into being a grandmother!
I always find it quite hard to meet other folk with cancer - because I can't honestly say 'nice to meet you'. I generally end up saying terribly awkward things like 'I wish we didn't have to meet because then maybe we wouldn't have cancer'.
I was diagnosed in at age 27 in Feb 2005 with a 5cm tumor in my right breast - I can never remember stages and grades, the info is too scary for my brain to retain. I had 6 months of chemo - 4 x doxorubicibn+cyclophosphamide (AC) and 4 x Taxotere followed by a mastectomy and level 1 auxilliary node clearance (which came back with 1 node +ive) and finished up with 5 weeks of Radiotherapy. I was on Tamoxifen and Xoladex up until this September when I was diagnosed with metastases in my spine and hip and lung. Now I'm on chemo again - Zeloda (Capecitibine).
That's about it really - I'm trying to face the fact that having a family is now out of the window and that I run the risk of dying before my partner or my parents. That's tough.
I knit and read to distract myself. I'm also very involved in Girl Guiding (Girl Scouts) and I'd just got back from taking a group of girls to Peru when the mets were discovered. I try not to blame Peru..... ;)
Hey Em. I assume your name is Em. I'm very sorry to hear that it came back in so many places. Know that you are very strong. Find friends and family to surround yourself with love. And most of all, allow yourself to cry if and whenever you feel like it. You are a funny girl, am glad to see your humor is intact with all things considered. :-)
Only the best of wishes to you Em.
Em...you are just much, much, much too young for this to have happened to you. You have yet to have lived your life and already doors have closed to you. This is one of the things about cancer that I still do not understand. I think we are not meant to understand it. You are in a warm place here with people who understand...who would very much like to make your life different but we cannot. We can offer you solace, comfort, some laughter and an appreciation of life for what it is now, and what it means to us.
I see you still maintain a sense of humour..you are not blaming Peru for the mets...keeping that outlook and that attitude is positive and can only make life that bit sweeter for you.
I have heard some remarkable things about Zeloda and while you may run the risk of dying before everyone else around you, I do know that a lot of the treatment now for late stage or metastisized cancers is much more like treating chronic illness like diabetes and it can be "conrtrolled". I wonder has anyone mentioned herceptin? I know that this is used for her2 positive cancers (like mine) but it is also widely used in mets.
I think you have a healthy, positive outlook..you are still taking part in activities that you enjoy and do not let cancer have control over your life...
I am glad to meet you...cancer gave me a lot of negative things but it also gave me the opportunity to meet some of the most interesting, fantastic people I would never otherwise have had the privilege to know.
