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while we're all professing to be legally single here, i'm sure each of us has those occasions wherein we're "taken" for a while. sometimes, it lasts longer than others of course, but here's the question: while things are working out, what on earth do you call that guy/girl? the word "boyfriend" just sounds so teenager to me, and due to having plenty of friends that happen to also be boys, i've always thought its use was kind of clunky (same issues with "girlfriend", for the same reasons i'm sure). "lover" is fun now and again, but comes off a bit pretentious if you're using it all the time, and even hinting at your sex life at work can be a bit eyebrow-raising.
so, what about it guys & girls? what term do you personally use to refer to your sweetie, and does anyone have any good ideas on coming up with a new designator?
You know, I had friends in college who dated for months and they we're so into each other that they didn't really care about the titles, but they got tired of people asking them if they were exclusive. So they just said, "Hey, we're just chilling, okay?"
And it became this big joke, "Oh, is that your boyfriend?"
"Oh, no we're just chilling."
Sounds silly, but they celebrate their third wedding anniversary this month. :)
I hate the lables, titles, designations whatever you want to call them. I always, whether we've been dating for a month, six months, or a year, refer to the person in my life as "my friend ____" or this is "____" (insert name into given blanks). It is an honest answer. I think you are who your are, and by calling someone "my boyfriend ____," I would be giving more importance to the fact that he is my boyfriend than I would be giving to the fact that he is a great person whether or not he is so related to me. And as for the questions from others, I mean is it really anyone else's business what the status of our relationship is??
CarrieAnn, i absolutely agree with the uselessness of the bf/gf label...big part of the reason i asked the question. but yeah, some people are ok to share my business with, and a good girlfriend would ask me, "so are you two officially an item?" or something along those lines, making a reasonable title/label kind of useful.
The questions from others thing acutally doesn't doesn't get me that often, because usually I don't even know if we're "an item." I can legitimately just say "I don't know" and leave it at that. I never sit down and have any "lets clarify this relationship" sort of conversations with anyone. I just don't. This is a big no-no in my book, and if a guy ever pulled that on me, the answer would probably be "after this conversation, no we are obviously not an item." I actually dated someone for over nine months and knew neither of us were seeing other people, but I still wasn't sure of the status of our relationship. And, no I didn't want to talk about it.
To Me and to others that ask He is just a Friend. I mean we have not been Dating long enough for anyone to want more out of it and I hate saying he is my bf anyway I just say This is ___________ and leave it at that.
I think this is yet another situation where to each his or her own. I personally don't mind introducing my honey (when I've got one) as such. My last serious beau liked being clearly introduced as mine (sure beats being peed on to mark territory), but I agree that adults well into their 30s have a hard time with boyfriend and girlfriend, so I liked taking the opportunity to reinforce my love for him by introducing him as my beloved. He liked it, it worked for us, but there are clearly lots of other guys who wouldn't groove on that. Whatever works for both parties.
